Okay, seriously? Pink pineapples? Are we *really* doing this?
The Pinkification of Everything
Let's be real. It's a pineapple. It's supposed to be yellow-ish, maybe a little orange. Now it's pink? Because… reasons? Apparently, some geniuses in lab coats decided that regular pineapples weren't "Instagrammable" enough. They messed with its DNA to make it pink, all thanks to lycopene. You know, the stuff that makes tomatoes red.
So, we're now at the point where even our FRUIT needs to be genetically modified to be more aesthetically pleasing for social media. Give me a break. It's peak absurdity.
And don't even get me started on Benny Blanco calling it "incredible." Of course *he* does. He's a music producer. What does he know about pineapples? Probably just sees another shiny object to promote.
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I mean, come on. Is nothing sacred anymore? Is every single damn thing going to be filtered, photoshopped, and genetically tweaked until it’s unrecognizable? It's like we're living in some kind of dystopian food-styling nightmare. Offcourse it is.
Pink Pineapples: The New Diamond Scam?
Exclusivity and Artificial Scarcity
And the price? $25 to $50 *per pineapple*? For something that's been genetically altered solely for its color? This isn't about nutrition or taste; it’s about exclusivity. About creating a "luxury" item that only the "influencers" and food bloggers can afford to flaunt.
They even chop off the crown so you can't replant it. Can't have the peasants growing their own pink pineapples, can we? Gotta maintain that artificial scarcity. It's like De Beers and diamonds all over again, but with fruit.
What's next? Blue bananas? Rainbow-colored avocados? Where does it end? And are we even asking if this is ethically sound? Or are we too busy snapping pics for our Insta stories to care?
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe I'm just an old crank yelling at clouds. But something about this whole thing just feels… wrong.
Pink Pineapple: Same Pineapple, Just Prettier (and Pricier)
So What?
Okay, okay, so it's got Vitamin C, antioxidants, aids digestion, and it's low in calories. Great. So does a regular pineapple. The only difference is that this one's been tinkered with to appeal to our vanity. And we're falling for it. Hook, line, and sinker.
It's All Just a Big, Pink Lie
